Lady K

DROWN IN THE OCEAN

I wanna drown.
It’s not that I don’t wanna live.
But I wanna drown

In the ocean, I think
The sea seems, so
So… transitional
Where does it end, like a bay or isthmus-thithith
Lithp

A lake?
OH COME ON Now
Even the big ones
Like the one I live next to,
Really is a pond with a big ego
A rain puddle that refuses to dry up
A trough in a depression collecting runoff
I’m NOT self descriptive
But annoying

To drown in one of those
I might as well fill my bathtub
Wear an Iron mask Defoe-like
Plunge
Or give myself a swirly
After jiggering with the flusher
To run run run

No, I wanna drown in the ocean
And not just any ocean
The ocean that swallows me as I swallow it
The ocean that not only promises
But delivers
Delivers the certainty that is missing on dry land

The dry land that
Bounces around hitting unexpected
Dips and hill, mountains & ravines
Seems so stable
Like quick sand
WATCH YOUR STEP

Dry, arid, firmament
Of not knowing
what’s next
Who’s next
Where’s next

Not knowing and unsure if
It is as it seems
And it’s not.

QUICK SAND AGAIN
So I wanna drown

Drown in the ocean
The ocean that is
The knowledge, the control
The ability to go up or down at will
As easily as going left right back and forward
Like a fish without the smell

The ocean that blurs
Now, then and later
That smudges the boundary between
This and that
Here and there
You and me

The ocean that brings
Convulsions continual twisting of external ecstasy
The ecstasy of knowing
The knowing I know
Will know
Did know
Everything there is to know

I wanna drown
In the ocean of bliss
To BE the ocean of bliss
So that others may drown as well.

Steve Goldberg